Finding the right therapist can feel like a difficult process. When you talk to or meet with the therapist for the first time, how do decide if they are the right fit for you?
The first time you talk with a prospective therapist, you will probably only have a few minutes to get to know them. They will probably ask you what brings you to therapy, so it helps if you have some idea of the problem that you would like to work on. You may not know what the problem is, but you can describe how you are feeling and what you would like to be different. Pay attention to how you feel during the call. Do you feel understood? Do you feel like the therapist gets you? Do they seem interested in what you are saying? This is a good time to ask any specific questions you have, such as what the sessions cost, do they take your insurance, does their availability match your schedule.
The first session is the time for you and the therapist to find out if you are a good fit for each other. The therapist will likely ask questions about your presenting problem and get to know you better. Ideally you will feel some benefit from this first session, such as feeling more hopeful about your situation or feeling understood by the therapist. You should feel that the therapist is clear about the nature of the issue that is troubling you and that they have some idea of what actions will be taken to address the issue. If you are not sure if they understand your problem, it is completely ok to ask!
The initial sessions with your therapist will likely be focused on relationship building and developing a mutual understanding of the issues you would like to work on and a plan for treatment. It is important to remember that, while the therapist may be an expert in psychological theories and interventions, you are the expert on yourself! Ideally, the therapist will encourage you to share your feelings about how therapy is progressing and check in regularly to see if you are finding the work helpful. Your feedback is very valuable, and a therapist who is open to hearing about your experience can make changes that contribute to better therapy outcomes.
Finding the right therapist who will be a great therapy partner is the start of a journey that can lead to real changes in the way you relate to yourself and others. I hope that this will help you feel more confident as you begin the process of starting therapy! I would love to talk with you about how individual or couples counseling can help you! And if you want to do a deeper dive into how therapy works, try this excellent podcast with Dr. Rick Hanson.